Smart Girls Carry Switchblades: Why All Women Should Seriously Consider Resorting to Violence
On June 3 of 1968, a woman named Valerie Solanas shot Andy Warhol with a .32 Beretta at his studio in New York City. Allegedly declared dead at the hospital, surgeons eventually managed to save him. Warhol was released from the hospital after two months, but he had to wear a medical-grade corset to keep his organs in place for the remaining 19 years of his pitiful life.
So why did she shoot him?
Valerie Solanas was a playwright, artist, and overt lesbian. She grew up in an abusive home, where she was reportedly sexually assaulted by her father throughout her childhood. Although she managed to get accepted to a PhD program in literature, the homophobic climate of the 1960s cut any academic dreams she had to the quick.
She finally moved to New York City, where she was unable to find any employment other than panhandling and sex work.
By the time she met Warhol, her mental health had declined precipitously. Warhol took advantage of her vulnerability, underpaying her for her acting work in his films and stealing her ideas on multiple occasions.
The final straw came when Warhol “misplaced” Solanas’ only copy of her original play, Up Your Ass. Solanas repeatedly called Warhol and his office staff requesting that the play be returned to her. But these calls and requests were ignored.
Put yourself in Valerie’s shoes for a moment — you have survived an unspeakably traumatic childhood. You have been repeatedly rejected by academic institutions — not because you aren’t smart enough, but because you are sexually attracted to women. You have no money, no family, and few (if any) friends.
One of the most famous artists in the world, Andy Warhol, sees your talent and milks you for free labor while promising you better work (and more money) in the future. Ultimately, you realize that he never intended to keep this promise. In fact, he has been passing off your work as his own.
All your life, the only message the world has ever given you is that you are not good enough to be safe, but you are good enough to be abused.
Consider also that you are hungry, and you cannot afford even a simple hamburger. And you are cold, because you live on the streets.
Under such conditions, is it really shocking that Solanas would resort to violence? She had been exposed to violence her entire life, and no one who hurt her was ever held accountable.
The reason I have dedicated this blog to the memory of Valerie Solanas is because I think most women (myself included) can relate to her on some level. Even if we don’t agree with her decision to shoot Warhol, I think most of us can understand the impulse.
I have also dedicated this blog to Valerie Solanas because she has been almost entirely written out of the historical record. And considering how much attention we give to male killers like Ted Bundy, I believe Valerie Solanas’ legacy is due for a public revival.
I would argue that the reason we do not hear more about female killers is because the men who rule our society are terrified of what would happen if women embraced violence (as men have always done).
If you are a woman, have you ever been called “aggressive” as if it is a bad thing? Have you been discouraged from public displays of anger? How many times has somebody told you to “be nice?”
If you’re over being nice, then you’ve come to the right place. In this article, I am going to drop some hard truths that the patriarchy doesn’t want you to know. For example, did you know that women are less likely to serve prison time for violence against men? And that women typically receive shorter prison sentences in the United States?
I am certainly not encouraging any one woman to personally resort to violence against men. Instead, what I hope to convey is that — should you be forced to resort to androcide — you are unlikely to face serious jail time. So do with this information what you will.
The legal double standard that favors violent women
According to published research of criminal justice in America, “women receive shorter sentences than men, are less likely to have their sentences adjusted upward, and are more likely to receive no prison term.” This may be due in part to the fact that women are far less likely to commit crimes than men.
In 2023, the United States Sentencing Commission reported a total of 64,123 federal sentences. Of these Americans who received federal sentences, only 8,279 were women.
Their most common charge? DRUG TRAFFICKING, followed by immigration offenses and, finally, fraud.
Of women who received federal sentences, their average prison sentence was only 32 months. This was significantly lower than the average sentence for men, which the USSC estimates at 57 months.
So, on average, women commit far fewer violent crimes than men. And even when they do receive federal sentences, they (on average) serve about half of the jail/prison time that men do.
On top of that, almost 60% of the women who received federal sentences were granted early release. On average, their sentences were reduced by about 62% of their original sentence.
Murder, She Wrote?
In 2023, 14,327 men were convicted for murder in the United States. In the same year, only 1,898 women were convicted for the same crime.
In a study of female homicide offenders, researchers found that 51% of cases involved a woman killing her romantic partner. The most common weapons used by a female perpetrator include guns, knives, and other household objects — suggesting that many of these homicides occur in the home (likely as a means of self-defense).
Furthermore, most victims of these female-perpetrated homicides are incapacitated during the crime. They may be asleep, under the influence of alcohol, sick, or otherwise weakened.
Over the past 200 years of criminological research worldwide, scientists have found that 85% of crimes committed in democratic countries are committed by men. According to one researcher, “Crime is predominantly a male problem.”
International studies of female incarceration report that “more than 50% of women in prison have reported emotional, physical, or sexual abuse as a child, compared to 27% of men in prison.”
Looking back at the story of Valerie Solanas, it becomes increasingly clear that Solanas’ experience was by no means unique. Indeed, her ultimate decision to resort to violence resulted from the same factors that lead most women to the same choice:
sexual abuse in childhood (and/or other forms of childhood abuse)
sexual abuse by a male partner
poverty
self-defense
After she shot Warhol, Solanas reportedly claimed that she was “right in what I did! I have nothing to regret!” And she also made sure to point out, “it’s not often that I shoot somebody. I didn’t do it for nothing.”
She was sentenced to 3 years of jail time, with 1 year of time served in mental institutions. She had no attorney, but chose to represent herself. Even with no attorney, and after receiving a psychiatric diagnosis of schizophrenia, Solanas only served 2 years in prison for shooting Warhol.
She pled guilty for “reckless assault with intent to harm.” But Andy Warhol died as an indirect result of his injuries 19 years after the shooting. So, in reality, Solanas only served 2 years for what would eventually turn out to be murder. And she got that sentence for herself, scoffing at the idea of a public defender.
be agressive! be, be, agressive!
For centuries, Western leaders of democratic states have tried to bury stories about violent women. Removing these women from the pages of our history books is simply a way of brainwashing modern women into underestimating their ability to commit violence.
If men have the right to wage wars in the name of economic interests, then women surely have the right to take up arms in defense of our own bodies.
Before I leave you for today, let’s take a look at some of my favorite female murderers throughout history.
Nzinga Ana de Sousa Mbande was an African queen who ruled multiple kingdoms (queendoms?) in the 1600s. Trained as a soldier from childhood, Nzinga was famous for personally leading her armies into battle.
According to legend, after each battle she won, Nzinga would take the sexiest enemy soldier into her tent and have her way with him all night. The following morning, she would kill him. Some reports even claim that she maintained a harem of up to 60 men at a time, and she forced these men to wear women’s clothing on pain of death. (Or, faster death, since she allegedly killed them all eventually.)
And while we are on the subject of homicidal women, what about all of the women who subtly poisoned their husbands with arsenic in Victorian England? As far as Victorian trends go, arsenic poisoning was a popular way to gracefully exit a marriage (considering divorce was rarely a viable option).
Given the rudimentary autopsies available at the time, in most cases it was impossible to prove that a wife had poisoned her husband. And since arsenic was everywhere, it was just as likely he was poisoned outside the home as inside.
And finally, in case you’re not quite ready to pop off, did you know that the “Hunters and Gatherers” trope is just a myth created by the patriarchy to convince women that we are not “biologically wired” to be aggressive?
To quote Dwight Schrute, FALSE!
In recent years, archaeologists have unearthed graves of many ancient female warriors, ranging from unwed teenagers to grandmothers (yes, grandmothers). In fact, some scholars have argued that grandmothers were some of the most badass hunters of ancient times.
History books, movies, and other forms of media may trick women into underestimating our natural abilities. We may, for example, conclude that we are the weaker sex, and thus incapable of defending ourselves physically.
But, quite frankly, I am not impressed by most of the men I see. According to the NIH, about 34.1% of men in the United States are overweight or obese. On the other hand, only 27.5% of women meet this criterion.
In addition to our superior fitness, American women live an average of about 6 years longer than their male counterparts. Considering that the average federal sentence for American women is only 32 months, women could serve at least 2 federal sentences in the years they live longer than men.
And finally, just to reiterate, I would never in any way promote violence, unless it is used in self-defense (and/or in defense of a child or other vulnerable person). All I am saying is that the court system recognizes that female violence is often justified.
Oh, and you can get a pretty good switchblade on Amazon for $9.99.
